Wannabe Papa Doc Duvalier cuffed
By Lester Haines
Posted in Bootnotes, 8th March 2005 12:14 GMT
An 18-year-old US student is today behind bars after police uncovered his plot to raise a zombie army and attack his high school. The wannabe Papa Doc Duvalier's chilling plan was uncovered after the youth's grandparents discovered his written proposal for the outrage in Winchester, Kentucky, lex18.com reports.
Mercifully, William Poole was cuffed before he could execute his macabre scheme. He faces a second-degree felony terrorist threatening charge after investigators discovered "materials at Poole's home that outline possible acts of violence aimed at students, teachers, and police".
Naturally, the fledgling Baron Samedi has claimed that the writings were nothing more than a short story he penned for his English class. He said: "My story is based on fiction. It's a fake story. I made it up. I've been working on one of my short stories, [and] the short story they found was about zombies. Yes, it did say a high school. It was about a high school over ran by zombies."
"It didn't mention nobody who lives in Clark County, didn't mention [George Rogers Clark High School], didn't mention no principal or cops, nothing. Half the people at high school know me. They know I'm not that stupid, that crazy."
Despite his protestations, the authorities have wisely decided to cage the miscreant youth. Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill noted: "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky."
Accordingly, a judge last week reflected the seriousness of threatening your high school with annihilation at the hands of the undead by raising Poole's bond from one to five thousand dollars at the request of prosecutors. He is currently reflecting on his folly in the Clark County Detention Center.
I only have one request. Please reread the title of this post in Napoleon Dynamite style …that’s like, a dollar an hour! GOSH!
7 comments:
I don't know if this is funny or sad! But I agree is like the dumbest thing evoh!
BTW first:)
It's not like he was learning much at school anyway... seriously did he really talk like that?
I couldn't help but giggle, who would honestly take a zombie threat seriously?
Bomb threat? Serious
Zombie threat? B-grade horror movie material
but wait high school is already crammed with the undead...especially anybody who participates in early morning seminary...jk
CQ two words Ken-tucky
Ok, yes, that is the dumbest thing ever. Zombies in KY? Only if they're wanting to marry their cousin. Shouldn't the police be tending to more important matters, like Billy Joe Brown & his underground moonshine business? Zombie attack. HA!
I know they said that in the last days that the dead would walk the earth and all, but I don't really think that they meant blood or brain thirsty zombies ;)
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