One-Liners

I hope the day I settle is the day I die.

I have never considered myself an adult.

I hate it when you come up with a couple of good one-liners, but alas they don’t hang around for long, so I guess that translates to write it down or lose it forever…

E=Mc2

How is it that people keep doing the same things the same way, yet expect different results? Didn’t Einstein say this was the definition of insanity?

Christmas in July?

It’s July, in the land of the eternal sun. Today it is actually slightly overcast due to wonderful monsoon season, finally a little relief from the heat, a balmy 101 ;). I just want to see it snow outside. Don’t know why I didn’t even miss the snow this past winter, but right now I just want to see it snowing outside.

“Christmas in July?” you ask. Well today would be Christmas Eve* if there were a Christmas in July, which to be honest, I didn’t realize until just now. Does that mean there is Chanukah in July? Or Kwanzaa? I think there should be some official stance on this.

Maybe in honor of a Christmas in July I will run around singing seasonally appropriate songs at people’s doorsteps, and hand out lots of good fatty food or some sorry excuse for a holiday treat. But in order to make it a more seasonally appropriate holiday, I will sing songs about rain and sun and summer, or those crazy campfire songs that you only sing at camp outs; because if you sang them anywhere else, people would simply stare at you like a freak of nature. Though you know if you did, said individuals would be humming all the while for they know the words by heart. And instead of super fatty foods I think I will just hand out fruit w/ yummy fruit dip, or possibly chocolate dipped strawberries but then again, the chocolate would melt off. Better yet, I would just hand out grilled meat. How do you like them apples?

OK now I see why this was never an official holiday, no free refrigeration for the tasty goods. Imagine that, by the time the person comes home to find what was once a tasty treat on their doorstep it has been reduced to foul stenching mush.

We have a winner

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Come On To My House

Am I Making Any Sense Here?

Some how things just don’t seem the same as they used to. While browsing through some listings of things that people have decided to sell, I looked at the price tags on them, and it didn’t send me stressing through the roof. I even thought to myself…that really isn’t all that much.

You pay to own certain things, but do they end up owning you? For example clothing, you buy it because it looks good on you, is trendy, whatever. Later you have to care for it, and depending on it’s fiber content this could be a costly process. You’ve now assumed more invested time and money in this particular item, and you thought that stopped the minute you paid for it at the register…silly. Now you have to factor in cost of running the washer and dryer, detergent, stain removers, fabric softener, and any other laundry paraphernalia including but not limited to, hangers, drying racks, dry cleaner’s bill, etc. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying run around naked, (*flinching* if that’s what you think I advocate, please reference G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S)

That being said, back to the lesson at hand, I feel that while on some issues I am fairly cheap. For example, I don’t like to pay more than $7.00 for a short-sleeved t-shirt. I wonder if this is not why we grow into excess? It wasn't always this way was it? I'm glad my mom taught us to shop for bargains it's the only true treasure hunt left.

I think more or less what has happened here is that instead of being a poor college student with basically zero income, don't get me wrong I don't make that much, but I do have money coming in which I have earned. The time I spent in college was very formative, I learned how to be a cheap skate. This has in effect skewed my perception of cost.

Tips

A few handy tips (no pun intended) to tell when you need a new over the shoulder boulder holder...
(1) The elastic threads are poking out all over the place.
(2) It's no longer the color it used to be.
(3) You're afraid to make sudden moves for fear of bottoming out.
(4) Your underwire makes more cameos than your cleavage.

If you have any other suggestions you would like to add feel free to comment.

Some People

Just don't get it. At present I happen to be toying with the idea of buying a house. Nothing too outlandish, but something where if I should decide to rent out a room or two I could. Call me crazy but something in me at this point wants to put some roots down. I want a project to work on that takes up my time, but obviously not all of it.

Mostly this feeling stems from about six years of residential instability. Going through college I certainly moved my fair share...17 times to be exact... Having moved so many times I have also become proficient at minimizing, and while I still have a few kitschy items, there's not a whole lot of extra "stuff." At this point though moving could still be considered an "adventure," depending on how optimistic I am feeling, I would prefer the security of being in a home where (1) I don't feel pressured to hide myself, and that includes all aspects of my persona (2) I can do pretty much whatever I want to do with it as far as color and decorating goes.

This is where my dear friends and family automatically assume that I mean paint the whole house in varying shades of blue and or green. Well it's mine, why not? Just kidding you need some neutrals/beiges/taupes for sanity's sake. However I don't want to fall into that whole idea of being owned by your possessions or the question of who or what is really in charge? Maybe one day I'll figure it out, but in the mean time I plan on still looking. I'm a hopeless optimistic, and I LOVE IT!

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

I learned how to spell it from Fergie ;)

Why do clothing companies use pictures of naked people to sell their clothes? Are they suggesting that wearing their clothing is just as glamorous as running around naked???

********************************NEWS FLASH************************************

Unless you are some Beverley Hills science project, running around naked IS NOT GLAMOROUS! It’s an experience the likes of which would induce cringing, wincing, and the possible eye twitch.

Oh yeah not to mention, I’m not really gonna buy your clothes if I can’t see them. I’m NOT falling for that one! I’ve read “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” So like any shrewd business person. I’m not buying unless I see the merchandise modeled for its use.

And before I forget, while those clothes might just end up in a pile on my floor, doesn’t mean that’s how I want to see them in your ad accompanied by the most recent wearers of said items of clothing, who are now A-propriately clad.

Sweet Tooth

Late Saturday afternoon I was feeling anxious, slightly overwhelmed by all of life's little "wonders" that I had come to be dealing with throughout that day. Being something of an emotional eater as we all are from time to time I reverted to a particular childhood favorite. Circus Peanuts! Those orange marshmallow things that are usually so rock hard in the store that no one would conceivably believe that it is in fact a marshmallow.

Well I tried to be good and just avoid the sugar aisle but they were simply calling out to me at the low low price of $.99. I caved. I had a couple in the car to help calm my nerves, which were recovering from the latest emotional/mental strain. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that this particular bag had not yet hit the hockey puck stage. In order to prevent that from occurring I put them back in the grocery bag and tied it tight and threw it in the back seat of the car, on the floor to be more specific.

As luck would have it, I forgot to take them out when I finally returned to my home that evening. The following afternoon whilst driving around in a toaster oven on wheels I suddenly recalled that I had forgotten to remove said bag of sugar. I opened them up and to my surprise happened upon a wonderful discovery, that not only were they again soft, as marshmallows should be, but that they were also much more delectable! So I downed a few and called it good.

In retrospect it all makes sense, though I don't think I will ever make the concerted effort to "reheat" my disgustingly sweet sugar fix, as I prefer them slightly stale...go figure.

And Now For Something....

Today while at work I was thinking...as I often do, and I realized something. I have a family who loves and supports me no matter what I choose to do and that is truly an amazing gift. We love spending time together. While there were times we didn't really get along when we were younger, we have matured into best friends. Let me illustrate this point a little better. When my sisters inquired what I wanted for my most recent birthday, all I said was that I wanted to be with my family. Fortunately I got what I wanted for my birthday, although it was about a month after the fact it was just as appreciated. The only regret here
is that we couldn't stay a month!

OK maybe that was just me, but still it's always nice to go home. I know no matter how hard you try it's never the same, always different, but hey that's what makes going home that much better because there is hope that you are a little better than you used to be. Could you imagine being the same person you were in eighth grade...let's talk about awkward!

random thoughts...

rice milk...
how do you milk rice? or better yet how do you get rice based milk? I don't know I've never seen freshly harvested rice. I'm sure that if I wiki'd that I would learn as much as anyone could hope to learn about rice including its genetic structure, but I haven't the time nor the inclination to be so ambitious...at least today.

Another adventure for another time. But just for today....My thoughts it's just tap water and
rice after a close encouter with a monster food processor.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind?

OK despite the obvious overdone blog topic of public toilets, I'm going there anyway.

What is it that makes people feel they are exempt from flushing? I mean seriously, if you don't want to touch it, use your foot, you have two. The only excusable reason somebody would need to get out of the restroom that quickly is if the building is on fire.

"I can't balance" you say? Well, there are four handy walls well within an arms reach and in most public toilets they have that oh so convenient all metal protruding handle just screaming to be flushed by your foot. It's not like you have to get tricky by using only the tip of your toes as you would if it were a normal household style toilet. One rudimentary lift of the leg should cover it.

Also, if there's a plunger in there, there's probably a reason, move on to the next one! Oh and if it just so happens that you are the reason why that plunger is in there, feel free to clean up after yourself ;)

And as always be sure to check the stall for adequate paper before parking to avoid the ever embarrassing "Can't spare a square" scenario, the reaching of the hand under the neighboring unoccupied stall like some monster in a horror flick, or worse yet...the air dry. ick.

Happy Parking!

I Am My Father's Daughter....

I love a challenge & I love being right...and yes I have been guilty of gloating. Here follows such a case. Recently, among a group of friends a question was thrown out. Something along the lines of "Who shredded the national anthem?" Of course I knew the individual was referring to Jimi Hendrix's version. When I mentioned the fact that it was done at Woodstock, someone threw down the gauntlet quite attitudinally, "I know what Hendrix at Woodstock sounds like!" The originator of the question tried to smooth things over. Water off a duck's back to me, or as I heard so humorously the other day, BBs off a Buick...although after a while there is some damage to the exterior...I prefer the duck.

Possessing the dog with a bone type of personality, I checked to find out the truth. As I don't want to be the person running around spreading lies as truth and having egg all over my face, especially since I don't particularly care for egg and yellow is not a good color on me, I looked it up on several different sources.

Having completed my higher education, I have included my points of reference. I feel they are all fairly reliable."He closed Woodstock with a sprawling, shaky set, redeemed by his famous machine-gun interpretation of 'The Star Spangled Banner.'"
http://music.yahoo.com/ar-251618-bio--Jimi-Hendrix

"Besides suffering microphone level and guitar tuning problems, it was also apparent that Jimi's new, much larger band had not rehearsed enough, and at times simply could not keep up with him. Despite this, Hendrix managed to deliver a historic performance, which featured his highly-regarded rendition of the Star Spangled Banner, a solo improvisation which became a defining moment of the 1960s."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimi_hendrix#Woodstock

"Another notable Hendrix live performance came at the famed Woodstock Festival in 1969, later documented in the movie Woodstock (1970). His version of 'The Star-Spangled Banner' at Woodstock, in which Hendrix plucked the guitar with his teeth, became legendary." http://encarta.msn.com/encyclopedia_761565345/Hendrix_Jimi.html

All I have to say is don't doubt the mad music skills.