New Shoes

OK...so I'm going to Europe this summer. Any suggestions on footwear? Most of the comfortable things I have for walking around in for long periods of time I have been informed scream american tourist, which let's face it isn't the most popular or safest thing to be right now. If it were warm enough I'd be fine running around in flip flops, but alas it's not that warm or at least from what info I've gathered it's not. Sooooo.

New Songs

So, I've been going to group weight lifting classes con mi madre for the past little while and you know me and music...

Well I find myself singing the songs off and on. There has been one in particular that made me laugh when I tried to find it on You Tube to see who sang it and you know how bizarre the videos are on there. Not gonna lie, I was little bit horrified when I saw the first 15 seconds of this video, so I just hid it and listened to the song.

When Will I Learn?

If the pizza didn't taste that good the next morning, that two days later won't be any better either? Seriously.

ICH.

Total.Nightmare.

OK so last night I had a dream or night mare really, that some how I had come to visit someone at my former sandbox place of employment, and had gotten suckered into working for them again to "help out." I'm not exactly sure how it happened, but it was awful!

My former Tyrannical Office Despot expected me to remember everything that I used to do however briefly I had done it before, and I couldn't remember at first why I had such trouble recalling things, but then I remembered. The reason was not because I'd been on vacation, but I'd been gone for over a year, and I wasn't on hiatus, but because they had fired me. The HNIC over the TOD was more unbearable than ever and the TOD was on a constant tirade and in my face about everything that I did or didn't do or could and couldn't remember. TOD was watching me work, leaning over my shoulder the whole time, just waiting for me to make a mistake...It was horrible!

Then when I had a moment's reprieve I finally started to think clearly, whereupon I had an semi-empowering realization, that if TOD came over again, I'd remind TOD that I was only doing TOD a favor and that I didn't HAVE to be there at all. Then I also realized that I had a return flight to catch, but I couldn't remember what the date was on the return ticket, and I needed internet access to find it, but of course for some reason they had had it removed, so you needed a password to get it. It was then that I decided I was just going to leave, and the dream dissipated. At which point I woke up feeling really weird. Definitely a bad experience. One I don't hope to repeat any time soon.

Wonderful

FINALLY! This is the song that's been stuck in my brain off and on for the past year or so. Sad to say that if I hadn't been running super late to class this AM I would not have caught it. This means that I will inevitably end up listening to it about 20+ times per day over the next week or so, just so my brain can have some sort of closure. It will involve a lot of smiling to myself because of the serendipatiousness of the revelatory moment.

Normally it doesn't take me this long, when I get a partial "sound bite" of a song or lyric if you will stuck in my brain. Alright enough of that, time to go listen to the song uno tiempo mas!

Now that you know I'm full of it...myself...yeah I guess that works I've also had this little beauty cracking off every now and then too in the recesses of my brain.



As horribly off key as it is I still think I enjoy the performance as much as I do just listening to the original.

Wikipedia. Better Than Cliff’s Notes

So the other day I ended up spending what was supposed to be a five or ten minute stint, which turned into over two and a half hours reading wiki-style. “Wiki-style” reading involves reading an article and then opening up new pages from the hyperlinks on those pages.  I was trying to figure out if certain books, of a trashy early gothic fiction type would be “kosher” to read.  Yes.  I know.  Totally contradictory in terms, but whatevs. After several instances of telling myself that I needed to go to bed, I finally decided to listen. Whilst I was winding down the massive amount of tabs, I realized something.  I now don’t need to read any of these books since in most cases the plot summary or synopsis was sufficient to tell the tale.  So what I’m really trying to say is that I sped read about thirty books in that short time span, skipping most all of the really weird crap and just giving me the good story line which was all I wanted in the first place. Yeah.  I cheated, but at least I can say I won’t be “scared for life” by my own mental pictures. Yeah if you hadn't guessed by now that I'm completely nutso from that statement alone...I'm at a loss.

Master's in Street Cred?

This morning in my Anatomy & Physiology lab we finished our dissections, we were going over the sensory lab instructions and I learned the standard position of the hand for a pimp slap.


****Updated to add****



He then proceded to tell us a story of an aunt bee'esque old lady who was in the class, during one explanation of this particular position, and she said, "You gotta keep your pimp hand strong."

Candy With Holes?

The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red.....................Cherry
Yellow................Lemon
Green..................Lime
Orange ...............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my gosh! They're a$$-holes!

The teacher had to leave the room.

Who Knew?

A man walked into the ladies department of Myer's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.'
'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.
'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'
' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable.
'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.'
Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied:
'There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?'
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded,
'It is all really quite simple. .The Catholic type supports the masses; The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.'


Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out
what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs
{B} Barely There
{C} Can't Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double Dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake
{G} Get a Reduction!
{H} Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!




OH, They forgot the German bra.
Holtzemfromfloppen

Insert Halloween Picture Here

I'll keep this brief...

If you haven't done much reading up on H1N1, read this.

That is all.

This Is Me...Sharing the Smarts

As promised I have some new blogifiable gems or nuggets if you will that I have collected from my time in school. My Anat & Phys lab class is proving to be quite the fountain of obsurd sayings.

For example a few weeks ago we took a field trip to Chemistry town...except we didn't get off the bus. That's one of the first official drive by field trips I have ever taken. I have a feeling that it will be the first of many. During said field trip, I learned what the most "ghettofied" (his term, not mine) definition of chemistry is, hooking up.

I did learn that sand attracts lightning, which would explain this


The person who teaches my lab is not the same instructor for the class. Let me clarify that point right now.

This past Tuesday I learned the difference between Samiches and Sandwiches.

Sandwiches- What you get at Subway.
Samiches- What you make at home.

One of the last pieces of advice that I received in class Tuesday was to ask, the next time I see a nervous person, how their buttcrack is doing.

I think this class will be the most beneficial to my social life.

Oh PS I finally figured out what the Fluid Mosaic Model really is.

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

I'm sorry, but it's over. It used to be mutually beneficial. You'd make me laugh. I'd leave a comment, we'd both walk away happy. Now when I look at you I cry a little because all I see are chores to be done and things that aren't funny anymore.

Translation. I'm just scaling back readership on a few blogs that I haven't visited in a while.

Don't worry this shouldn't affect our friendship.

Oh wait, what was that?

Yeah. I think you are right. We've never met IRL, and I can barely keep up with those friends at the moment.

I think I'll probably end up doing the occasional appearances type of thing like Santa Claus & the Easter Bunny & maybe even the Tooth Fairy.

So...


























I guess that means I'll see you at Christmas? ;)

trauma oh the trauma, oh wait or was that drama?


I love you all, but(and that's a BIG but!) school is kicking my trash. I promise I'll be up for air in a little while ;)

You Call THAT Studying?

Alrighty, so the other day, Lady happened into my room. I'm not gonna lie it's a scary hot mess. She informed me of this, and so I started to do a little more picking up to get things in a "manageable" way.

While sifting through things and rearranging, I found a nail kit which included a little handy dandy tool for fake tips. A buffer. I thought I would smooth out my nails a little bit. Big mistake. I went a little crazy and over did it. ow. Let me repeat that. OW! That's better. So in effort to give my nails a little more back up/ support/ strength/ thickness-whatever-you-want-to-call-it I painted them with a coat of clear polish.

Ever since I had my last sandbox pedi back in February. Which included no less than three colors, to make an argyle pattern, and black jewels for fun. A plain regular coat of polish, regardless of color, doesn't really cut it for me. It still looks boring. I see it as a canvas that has yet to be explored.

Thus it was that when I sat down to do my homework, it resulted in this.



I have learned a few things from this little experiment.
A. Sharpie on your nails rubs off pretty quick.
2. Wait for the Sharpie to dry BEFORE you paint another clear coat over the Sharpie layer.
D. Regardless of how dry the Sharpie drawing is it'll still bleed a little when painted over with nail polish.

Maybe I should try another brand of nail polish next time?

Lessons From Google Reader

Today I went through my reader account since they (<- read the wonderful people at blogger) decided it would be super cool to move my entire following list to the google reader, without telling. Thanks guys! Really! Way to add a little extra stress to my day.

Welp, since it all showed up together I had about 300 unread posts. What I learned from going through the Subscriptions list was that some people post way too much. 50 posts in like, a week's time? That's just a little ridiculous. I understand you want to build and keep a reader base, but honestly? Not everything you think needs to be noted on the blog for blogsterity.

Another thing I learned? I have some funny OLFs I ♥ them, and would like to read them on a more regular basis, but school is kicking my trash two tests last week and two this week with no end currently in site, and things only promising to get harder. It is a dark time my friends, at least on the blog. My mind however is a different story with all the light and knowledge coming in I just hope my brain doesn't get sunburned or fried for that matter.

I'll skip the hannibal lector(sp?) joke there, that's a little too g-ross for me.

Anatomy & Psychoticology

Today while going over an exam review I happened upon this particular question.

"What is the fluid mosaic model and how [do]* substances move across it?"

The first answer that came to mind?

The alleged process of how Picasso learned to paint. Step One: The participant imbibes beverages of an alcoholic nature. Step Two: The participant proceeds to make an attempt at painting. Step Three: The participant repeats steps one and two while dancing around the studio like a goth at a techno rave to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, until the desired level of inebriation is reached OR until the painting is complete....OR until the participant passes out.**



It's official I need a break from studying.

*This is another reason school is driving me crazy. My online class is the hardest one on my schedule however most if not all of the literature posted by the professor is riddled with sp?'s of the most inane nature. I'm half tempted to ask to proof and edit his material so that it makes sense. Whether I'd get extra credit or not. I don't care. Either way it would save a little piece of my sanity every time I have to work on my assignments!

**Something to keep in mind was that this so called "process" was more of a mental image rather than a truly descriptive detailed list of procedures.



AAAAAAND this is why I decided to share my recent bout of insanity with you all. Please enjoy. :D



I rest my case.

Why yes! Yes, I am..

a nerd, but I've decided that when I finally finish school with a master's that I want people to call me Master. I've pondered upon this and realized that there might be some adverse effects to insisting on this recognition of my scholastic achievements such as when I go to abbreviate Master which would look something like this "Mr." or perhaps people just might confuse me with a 19th century prepubescent boy (ie Master Hawkins).

In other news I found out that they have hobbit tests at my new school.* Again this is a prime example of some fine higher edjamacashun here folks!

*OK so maybe it's not really a "hobbit" test, but how else would you pronounce "hobet" so that it doesn't sound like some illegal back alley casino?

So That's How You Do It...

OK I'll admit I totally swiped this from a friend of mine on the FB, but it was too good not to pass up posting on the blog. My personal favorite move would have to be right around :36. I think I'll give that one a whirl at the next Stake function. ;)



And is it just me or does that dude in the red sweater remind any one of Kevin Nealon?(sp?)

Oh Weather Channel How I Love Thee Let Me Count The Ways...

Alrighty so this afternoon while getting some things together on the compy. Loofy had the TV parked on his usual favorite...The Weather Channel. Of course instead of playing the whole "this is the weather in your area" schpiel all.day.long. They had some interesting programs about extreme weather in different areas of the US. Well a little later when it did a little snapshot of the local weather, they were rockin the Herbie Hancock- Rock It, as well as a little Temptations- Papa Was A Rolling Stone.

PK Goes to CA

I spent last week in San Diego, and I have to say that Southern CA is quite nice for vacationing. clickety to biggefy.



Most if not all of these pictures were taken from the car while we were moving. Brings new meaning to the phrase drive by shooting.
Look, there's my hands and right arm! This is about as much of me as you will see in these photos.*


I am a sucker for a good panoramic scene shot










I actually spent quite a bit of time here reading and just watching the water in between our expeditions.






As well as interesting architecture.































The beach is almost always a gold mine for some good people watching.




Apparently this guy thinks so too.












Even the birds get into it.


It proved to be the home of some most excellent signage.


Does this actually certify as irony?
(For those of you who can't read those signs the lower one says, "Planned Parenthood Express" the one in the upper left corner says, "Episcopal Church 5 1/2 blocks to the left")

Thank you Captain Obvious!

I'm pretty sure that I saw this truck whilst traversing the country earlier this year. Only I couldn't find my camera fast enough.

Somehow this motto just explains soo much.

I even picked up a little extra religion while I was down there.



I should explain this picture a little better. Aside from just being funny. This kid was conveniently located outside the neighborhood banking branch.


After driving around for a while, I thought CA couldn't get any better. Apparently I was wrong.

Here's your gratuitous bacon. Pretty sure that if I had turned the camera a little more to the left it would read Quik Stop Bacon.

Yes I took all these pictures myself.

As BW would say, "Catch you on the flipper."


*This is actually an exercise in covert ops recon. For those times when it pays to be super sneaky and secrety.